Psychologist's Office: "My daughter lost her partner when she was 16. Seeing her like this devastates me. Her life is a roller coaster. How can I help her?"

You can now read the latest installment of the Psychology Clinic, which 20minutos aims to use to help resolve any questions or difficulties readers may have (with friends, partners, family, at work, etc.).

Here are the answers our expert, Mª Jesús Álava Reyes, gave in this installment.

Anger and anxiety

QUESTION: I'm a woman. I've been taking one and a half anti-anxiety pills for six weeks for severe anxiety, along with an antidepressant, but the psychiatrist told me I have to stop taking them gradually. She says I won't suffer withdrawal symptoms this way, but I don't feel well. Sometimes I feel angry and anxious, but I'm not sure if that's really the case or if I'm just instigating it with my thoughts, believing that without pills the anxiety will return. L F.

EXPERT ANSWER It's important to follow your psychiatrist's instructions, and if they've determined that you can gradually withdraw from the medication, try to follow their guidance. Anxiety is often caused by our internal thoughts, by the way we perceive our lives. These thoughts are the cause of the emotions that can cause us so much anxiety.

In your case, it would likely be beneficial to complement your drug treatment with psychological therapy to help you control your emotions and gain confidence and emotional stability.

I'm gay and I don't fit in.

QUESTION: For many years, I've tried to fit into society because, as a gay man, I encountered significant difficulties fitting into both the straight and gay worlds. From my perspective, I've overcome many things, but in the end, it's not that I really feel alone, but rather that I don't fit in with any group or with practically anyone.

After having fought, you realize it's better to be alone and live alone. I don't believe anyone's business; I only put my hand in the fire for myself. Juan Cruces

EXPERT'S RESPONSE Under these conditions, and given the experiences you have had, it would probably be positive for you to have psychological help, to perfectly channel all your experiences and so that you can have a less defensive attitude.

Help the mother

QUESTION: My mom doesn't want to live alone, but she only wants to live with her daughters and nothing else. But I live in Switzerland. I'm not rich, and it's expensive to support her here. I have two grandchildren whom I help take care of; my mom fights a lot with my sister and prefers to be with me. What can I do to help everyone? I have fibromyalgia, and I'm not feeling well mentally either. Please.

EXPERT'S RESPONSE: Sometimes older people become very demanding and very exclusive. Everything seems to indicate that you have a hard time saying NO to your mother, you struggle to set certain limits, and in the end you feel stuck in a dead end. I fear, based on what you say, that your mother manipulates your emotions to achieve her ends, and acts selfishly and insensitively. In the book "Let No One Manipulate Your Emotions," I detail how to act with people like your mother and how to do so without feeling bad.

It will also help you deal with fibromyalgia and ease the stress in your life. Don't hesitate; you alone must decide what to do with your life and how to live it.

Crying in every session

QUESTION: My 18-year-old daughter suffered the traumatic loss of her partner at 16. Since then, she hasn't recovered; she says she misses him. Her life is a roller coaster. She's been to a grief counselor, but it upset her so much (she left every session in tears) that she quit. I don't know how to help her, and seeing her like this devastates me. I'd appreciate any advice. Rosa. SF

EXPERT'S ANSWER Grief processes are very personal, and at 16, they are experienced in a very dramatic way. In these cases, it doesn't help to rehash what happened as much as it does to RECONCILE WITH LIFE.

It would be great for your daughter to open up to the world again, to socialize with people her own age, to try to enjoy herself again, and, when the time comes, to be grateful for what life has allowed her to enjoy alongside that person who is no longer with us, but, I repeat, it's appropriate for an 18-year-old girl to lead a life appropriate for her age.

Try to encourage her to hang out with her friends, to do the activities that used to bring her comfort... little by little, she'll start enjoying herself again and realize that she can regain her hope and dreams.

Don't be left with any questions. Ask our expert, María Jesús Álava Reyes.